Written by: Ray Butler

Rivalry week has come and gone, which means that seemingly half the league has changed their GroupMe name to short taunts aimed at their rival. Even McKinnon is getting in on the action by poking fun at Van, which is like making fun of a kid whose family won the Powerball but won’t be receiving their monthly checks until 2019.

But I digress.

Here’s what the projections emphatically claim will happen in week 7:

Joe Buck Yourself vs. South Correa- Projection: South Correa wins 10-3-1

There’s no better therapy in 2017 than playing Van. His team’s current avatar is the Crying Jordan meme, but I could totally see this week being the week that kick-starts John’s squad and season. Regardless, the sizable win should be nice. An aside: I really think Van has found something in Corey Dickerson. Over the past 18 months, he’s been passed around LORG like Josh Gordon’s favorite pastime, but he’s swinging it well and still has several more strong years ahead of him.

Mookie Monsters vs. The Magnificent 7-7s- Projection: Mookie Monsters wins 10-4-0

For some reason, I feel like Ben being on a cruise this week is probably not going to help his chances against Gregg. Maybe it’s just me. Has anybody realized that Gregg has basically beaten the snot out of almost everybody and he a) has been without Josh Donaldson for most of the season thus far, and b) hasn’t skipped a beat even though Clayton Kershaw hasn’t quite been himself? Meanwhile, Ben’s staff has been everything he hoped it would be, even with Jameson Taillon currently on the shelf and Masahiro Tanaka soiling his pants once every couple of weeks. I’m excited to see these two staffs go back-and-forth throughout the week.

Super Gurriel Bros vs. Logan’s Heroes- Projection: Super Gurriel Bros wins 8-5-1

Yadier Molina had the most total bases for Bobby last week! Yeah, it wasn’t a great offensive outing, but he hung in there and almost beat John. This is a matchup between two teams who have overachieved so far this season. Both Bobby and Matt were practically afterthoughts heading into the season after making the playoffs in seemingly every season ever. Of course, they’re currently on the inside looking out of the playoff picture. This is sure to be a high-quality matchup between two guys who simply get the job done.

A Krismas Story vs. The Disabled List- Projection: A Krismas Story wins 8-6-0

The matchup of the week, this one features the fourth and second ranked teams, respectively. I know nothing about fantasy baseball, but I *think* this one could break the all-time IP record in a single matchup. Looking at the waiver wire, both of these guys seem up to the task. Thru six weeks, McKinnon and Zach are both en fuego. Things are going the way these two hoped they would, and now they face-off in what should be a measuring-stick matchup. I actually think this result will be more telling than a typical week 7 matchup. We should be excited to see how this one turns out.

Very Good Team vs. SeagerShine- Projection: Very Good Team wins 9-4-1

2016: Frank naively believes that a rebuild can be avoided. He fields the best team he can and absolutely blows chunks. Reverse hype video worthy. 2017: Frank finally decides to burn it down and start over. He fields a mix-and-match of the best talent he can find while eyeing 2019 and 2020 and is somehow on the bubble of making the playoffs more than a quarter of the way thru the regular season. Baseball, man. But alas, the projections continue to underestimate. Caleb’s squad has simply been ice cold as of late (it’s due to change any day now) and Frank is coming off a huge rivalry week victory. Naturally, the projections think Caleb rolls in this one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sausage Party vs. Acuna Matata- Projection: Acuna Matata wins 10-4-0

I will change names until I begin winning. Don’t underestimate the horrific names I can come up with centered around Francisco Lindor, Trea Turner, or Marcus Stroman. We’ll get this right eventually. Just like the matchup directly above this one, one of these teams has simply been hilariously bad; the other just benefitted from a huge upset victory in rivalry week. Once again, the projections favor the hilariously bad squad. Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my excitement that Ian Happ is in the show. Adam is about to get a good glimpse of one of the centerpieces of his future.

Here’s a look at the ever-evolving season-long projections:

Most Overachieving Team: The Magnificent 7-7s (Now projected to win 12 more games than original projection)

Most Underachieving Team: Very Good Team (Now projected to win 18 fewer games than original projection)